so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
