She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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