oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
