the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
