your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
