its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
