i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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