you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
