I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
