After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
