Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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