You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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