the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
