dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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