NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Can I color on your dick again?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I need water and some morals
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
