So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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