you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
