We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
