Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
