ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
