When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Randomize
