i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
