his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
