Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
