It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
