CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
