you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
