So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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