just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
