how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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