The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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