you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
