Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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