He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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