i don't like sucking hair
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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