Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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