You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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