That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
it glows. i had to have it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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