my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
