are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
