sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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