I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
