You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Your tits are I can't wait for
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
