I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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