I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
