I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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