If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
