I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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