it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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