Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize