so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
