he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
