hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
