How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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