at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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