My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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