I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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