We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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