that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So much rum. So many feels.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
