he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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