Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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