oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
