you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
