She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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