Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
