i just wanna soil my oats bro
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
