you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
