I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Do you have feelings for this penis?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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