So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
