you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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