oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Randomize
